I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
