Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
