What a fucking waste of an outfit
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
