i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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