I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
