What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
