I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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