haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
