that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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