proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
