Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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