you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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