I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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