That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
