yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
