Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
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