I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
