Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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