I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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