Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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