There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
