respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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