please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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