we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize