i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
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