they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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