another moral hangover. fuck.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize