Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
