sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
