he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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