No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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