That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
