We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
