Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
