i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
