Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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