That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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