I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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