I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
