So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
