guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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