Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
