Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
