Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
