and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
