She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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