I hate all girls vehemently.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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