if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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