you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
