dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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