why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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