apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
