Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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