Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
