Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry gnarwhal hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.

Fav 27 5257 1004
share tweet
(760): View more from California

The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.

Fav 3 3739 1373
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(203): View more from Connecticut

Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.

Fav 56 9403 1999
share tweet
(+41): View more from Switzerland

I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples

Fav 16 1398 5439
share tweet
(216): View more from Ohio

So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

Fav 9 1535 3331
share tweet
(616): View more from Michigan

He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.

(1-616): View more from Michigan

Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!

Fav 10 5382 1167
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(541): View more from Oregon

Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.

Fav 26 1605 8462
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(612): View more from Minnesota

So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

(319): View more from Iowa

will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

Fav 3 583 1199
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy

Fav 1 68 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT