Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
