Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
