see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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