i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have aggressive nipples.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
