I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
