We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
