spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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