Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
