eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
smell my finger.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
