how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
