Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
