you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize