if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
