what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
