Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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