all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Randomize
